Monday, January 12, 2009

Some Ignorant Ish....

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so damn responsible...
like you know the saying of "those who know better do better"...well god dammit, i don't want to know better, I don't want to know shit, I want to live my life and spend like there ain't no tomorrow...

If I didn't know better, I would forgo paying my mortgage and buy my dream car, a range...
like I could sleep and eat in that car, who needs an apartment or house or 401K?



But no, here I am being financially responsible....driving in lil ole Betsy, reliable but not a RANGE!
This financially responsible shit better pay off 4 realz for all the sacrifices my ego is making right now... 4 realz...and its not just my ego but all the other responsibilities that come with being so damn responsible...
strangely though, something tells me that it is...
“ Ego is the biggest enemy of humans. ” Rig Veda quotes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Give up all bad qualities in you, banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss.” Sri Sathya Sai Baba quotes (Indian Spiritual leader, b.1926)





1/12 : New Articles On Empressmag.com

Check check check-em out....

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Year New Ish- To Give Up or Not?

Damn Damn Damn

How long has it been

a couple months I think...ok maybe just one...that Sha or I wrote

we have been going through major drama with re-developing our website. Every time we try to get our website re-done (www.empressmag.com) something happens, a web designer disappears or disappoints. I can't even count the times we thought we were close to getting somewhere, to the next level, and bam nothing happens, our dreams are shattered.

Honestly, sometimes I just want to give up. How many times are you supposed to try something before shit gives? How many times can you take disappointment? What the hell is the point?

But something keeps us going, not sure what it is because we seem to have been running in a circle for a while now, but running in circles beats laying down and giving up.... at least we're in shape right?

WHEN Empress reaches its full potential, Sha and I will have a story to tell. We won't give up...we can't.... we came this far and what would be the point for all this hard work, money & time spent.

Viva La Empress....

""When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Unknown

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Holla At Me

Damn I haven't blogged since Obama won. What the hell!

Why is it a Sunday and I'm sipping? Oh well, such is life.

So this weekend was a bit slow. Friday I went to one of my favorite restaurants in Bklyn..oooh how I love that place. If they didn't cost so much I would go there every week.

Went to a reggae party on Friday and suprisingly it got crowded pretty early (1am). I was surprised because all the Jamaican parties I usually go to, I take a nap in the corner by the speaker..lol...then wake up at 3am when everyone shows up. Sorry, I get to the club before they start charging. I don't see the purpose in paying unless it's someone's birthday or Christmas uhmm maybe even Thanksgiving.

But this was the cool thing about this particular party. I was able to sneak a water bottle of jesus water into the spot. They weren't checking bags when my homegirl and I walked in. Then I thought, let me see if I can get that bottle in here. 

I walked back to the car. sidenote: Don't you hate when you have to sneak into your own damn car cause there are so many other ppl waiting for a park that when they see you pull out your key they are on your ass. "you leaving", they'll ask. "Nah", now please move on because I'm by myself and yall look suspect as hell. I put an empty water bottle into my purse along with the Jesus juice as a decoy. I walked into the club and the bouncer said "open your bag" and he saw the water bottle, but low and behold mama had the alcohol in a secret compartment. I got in with my juice, I'll def be returning there again.   

Why was that the highlight of my night...lmaoo. Saturday was chilled, finally picked up my dinner table and just chilled with the parentals. Anywho, how did your weekend go?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

OBAMA WINS!!!!!!!!!!

I'M CRYING!!!!!! I'm not the one for tears but this got to me.  Our first black president, do you know what this means. There is a black woman who will be in a white house who won't be a slave,  who won't be the help. Just years ago our grandparents couldn't vote and now we have a black man in the white house. Damn yall.
Oh Obama I hope there will be change and you will show us even more history making. McCain you gave him a good fight but Obama is the man. Now as I watch McCain speaking, I see the tears welling up in his eyes. But it will be ok, there will be change, there has to be CHANGE.

Young people there is no excuse anymore. With our first black president, there is not limit.

First people I spoke to: My Dad, DKH, JSM, DAG, CDA.  
Where was I: At home, in WB,  sippin on that...

I will never forget this day.

Friday, October 24, 2008

I Need Another Job Just So I Can Go To The Movies

WTF....

trying to see Saw V tonight

I want to buy the ticks before hand

cause you know how crazy people get at the movie theatres (especially on the movies first night) and its FRIDAY...

so I am about to buy the ticks online

through Fandango

and 2 mofo ticks cost 25$ fing bucks... why is there a $2 service charge? Why does one ticket cost $11.50? I can get a outfit at Forever 21 for $11.50, well not really but you know what I mean...

This is some shit

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Almost Missing

I find myself missing someone I shouldn’t. I hate when that happens and it usually occurs between “my boo” stages. It's when I just stopped dating someone and now I’m creeping for the next boo..lol. But why do I miss him?

I could be myself around him. I could curse, drink, yell and do other things without him looking at me weird or making me feel uncomfortable. That type of guy is hard to come by. The type, where you can sleep on his bare chest and drool (yeah when I’m that damn sleepy anything can happen lol) and when you wake up and realize what happened and your embarrassed as hell he wipes the spit off his chest and says “don’t worry about it” and puts your head back on his chest. DAMN! Or he’ll give you his last 20 dollars so you can get your hair done because he felt that is what a man should do.

But we’re not together for a reason. Although he showed me attention and cared for me, it wasn’t meant to last. He loved his homeboys way too much, he went to jail twice for 30 days and never told me why, what type of shit is that. To this day I still can’t believe I let him get away with that one lol. His ex, at the time I’m pretty sure she wasn’t his ex, kicked in the door while I was there (that’s another story). Then after a while he was just broke and didn’t want to do anything with his life but party and buy clothes. He wasn’t the dependable guy I knew before and I was over it.

So I guess I just miss the good things because the bad things are way up there too. I wonder how he’s doing it’s been a few months since we last spoke and he usually reappears every other month. So hopefully he’s happy or maybe missing me just a little too…haha.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Magic Pt 1- "I'm Ready"

The text came through and hit Kailah like a ton of bricks "I want you back" . She couldn't believe what she was reading. After 6 months the guy who she was trying to forget, the guy who she was working on erasing from her memory just threw a monkey wrench in her rehab process.

She stared at the words in disbelief.

Tony never had perfect timing, he always chose the wrong time to speak up, the wrong time to come back. She was happy now, happier with Mike than she had ever been in a long time. Things at her job were going great, she was working her way up to be the number one candidate for the next round of promotions, she was going to the gym every other day and getting her body more toned and healthy than ever, she even began to forget about him.

It was the first time in a couple of weeks that her mind forgot that a guy named Tony ever existed, that a guy named Tony was able to take her heart without even trying and without even caring.

Mike and Kailah were on their way to a night on the town. He had just picked her up and surprised her with flowers. After all these years he still knew what to do to make Kailah feel special. "Thank you sweetie, your so sweet" and she kissed him lightly but passionately on the lips before he drove off.

While Kailah wanted to stay focused on the beautiful warm summer night and all the fun she would have with Mike, she couldn't stop thinking about the text she just received. I'm not going to text back she decided. He doesn't mean it, he probably meant to text someone else, Tony would never text me that, she kept repeating in her head until she almost believed it.


Her phone vibrated again, she looked down, it was another text. "I know what your thinking but your wrong, I mean it and I'm ready, when can I see you?" ...

( 6 months earlier)

"Do what you want to do, he prob really loves you" Tony said matter of factly. Kailah stood their in disbelief. "That's all your going to say?, well, How do you feel about me?" she said.

There was silence, "Look, I told you already where I stand, so its your choice to make"

She wanted him to say something else, to tell her that he loved her and that he would be the man she always knew he could be. " I know its my choice but I just want to know how you feel about me, you never tell me, you don't show me, how am I just supposed to know?" Kailah said.



"Kailah, I care for you so I want you to be happy besides your looking for me to recite something from a movie, its not going to happen, you know who I am, you know what it is, if you have to question it then you should go back to what you know"

She wanted to yell "I WANT TO KNOW YOU, I WANT YOU" why couldn't he just see that.

Instead she said calmly "Look, I know who you are and I tried to accept that, I really did. You know I really like you, more than you know, I'm willing to take the risk with you and step out on the ledge, with you, if you can just look me in the eyes and tell me your willing to step out on the ledge too"


He paused looked at her and shook his head, instead of pulling her into his arms he looked away. "I really can't stay much longer, maybe we can discuss this another time." he said. He towered over her as he reached his arm out to hold up her chin, she was fighting back the tears, he kissed her on the cheek. "I'll call you later today" and he walked away. He never did call, she didn't hear from him again.....

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Introducing Magic...

What happens when lovers who are meant to be never become? Old timers love to say "You always loose the first one". The first one who makes your skin tingle with an ever so gently touch, the one who makes you smile with just the sight of their face or the one who wanted to be yours but denied their heart. Welcome to a world of betrayal, love, joy, and heartache. Where emotions change on a whim.

Where a man believes that he has met his true love but is forced to hold back his feelings because she has a boyfriend. Insecurity plagues his heart, concealing the emotions he wants to share with her, but always holding back, will the day ever come where he professes his love?

Her love, is it him, she really wants?

Torn between the unknown and the planned future, what really lies ahead?

Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me.

Now you may be curious to what this is all about. Tune in weekly for Magic, a love story that all of us can relate to regardless of age, gender, or race. Supposedly love has no boundaries, but for some it does and for those who cross those boundaries find themselves in a world of unchartered land.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Oodles of Noodles

It's Monday and I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Lately I've been dragging my ass in the morning. I have to get a boost of energy so I can get my mornings poppin :)

Anywho, this weekend I was thinking a lot about relationships, maturing and accomplishing things in life. Sometimes I think women put this silent pressure on themselves to achieve this and that, by this age or that year. I do it to myself all the time and sometimes get stressed over it. We have that whole, I have to be married by the time I'm 28 and have kids by 30, it goes on and on.

But why do I feel the need to live life based off a plan. I can't be programmed and so many great things in life happen unexpectedly. It would be excellent to have everything I think I should have at this moment but I guess I'll get them in due time because if I thought things happened when I wanted them to, I would be an effin millionaire by now..haha.

I'm proud of myself for not dwelling on things I have cause my life is pretty damn good. It didn't happen overnight, the thought that my life was great, but compared to how it could be I'm on a pretty decent road to success.