Friday, October 24, 2008

I Need Another Job Just So I Can Go To The Movies


trying to see Saw V tonight

I want to buy the ticks before hand

cause you know how crazy people get at the movie theatres (especially on the movies first night) and its FRIDAY...

so I am about to buy the ticks online

through Fandango

and 2 mofo ticks cost 25$ fing bucks... why is there a $2 service charge? Why does one ticket cost $11.50? I can get a outfit at Forever 21 for $11.50, well not really but you know what I mean...

This is some shit

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Almost Missing

I find myself missing someone I shouldn’t. I hate when that happens and it usually occurs between “my boo” stages. It's when I just stopped dating someone and now I’m creeping for the next But why do I miss him?

I could be myself around him. I could curse, drink, yell and do other things without him looking at me weird or making me feel uncomfortable. That type of guy is hard to come by. The type, where you can sleep on his bare chest and drool (yeah when I’m that damn sleepy anything can happen lol) and when you wake up and realize what happened and your embarrassed as hell he wipes the spit off his chest and says “don’t worry about it” and puts your head back on his chest. DAMN! Or he’ll give you his last 20 dollars so you can get your hair done because he felt that is what a man should do.

But we’re not together for a reason. Although he showed me attention and cared for me, it wasn’t meant to last. He loved his homeboys way too much, he went to jail twice for 30 days and never told me why, what type of shit is that. To this day I still can’t believe I let him get away with that one lol. His ex, at the time I’m pretty sure she wasn’t his ex, kicked in the door while I was there (that’s another story). Then after a while he was just broke and didn’t want to do anything with his life but party and buy clothes. He wasn’t the dependable guy I knew before and I was over it.

So I guess I just miss the good things because the bad things are way up there too. I wonder how he’s doing it’s been a few months since we last spoke and he usually reappears every other month. So hopefully he’s happy or maybe missing me just a little too…haha.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Magic Pt 1- "I'm Ready"

The text came through and hit Kailah like a ton of bricks "I want you back" . She couldn't believe what she was reading. After 6 months the guy who she was trying to forget, the guy who she was working on erasing from her memory just threw a monkey wrench in her rehab process.

She stared at the words in disbelief.

Tony never had perfect timing, he always chose the wrong time to speak up, the wrong time to come back. She was happy now, happier with Mike than she had ever been in a long time. Things at her job were going great, she was working her way up to be the number one candidate for the next round of promotions, she was going to the gym every other day and getting her body more toned and healthy than ever, she even began to forget about him.

It was the first time in a couple of weeks that her mind forgot that a guy named Tony ever existed, that a guy named Tony was able to take her heart without even trying and without even caring.

Mike and Kailah were on their way to a night on the town. He had just picked her up and surprised her with flowers. After all these years he still knew what to do to make Kailah feel special. "Thank you sweetie, your so sweet" and she kissed him lightly but passionately on the lips before he drove off.

While Kailah wanted to stay focused on the beautiful warm summer night and all the fun she would have with Mike, she couldn't stop thinking about the text she just received. I'm not going to text back she decided. He doesn't mean it, he probably meant to text someone else, Tony would never text me that, she kept repeating in her head until she almost believed it.

Her phone vibrated again, she looked down, it was another text. "I know what your thinking but your wrong, I mean it and I'm ready, when can I see you?" ...

( 6 months earlier)

"Do what you want to do, he prob really loves you" Tony said matter of factly. Kailah stood their in disbelief. "That's all your going to say?, well, How do you feel about me?" she said.

There was silence, "Look, I told you already where I stand, so its your choice to make"

She wanted him to say something else, to tell her that he loved her and that he would be the man she always knew he could be. " I know its my choice but I just want to know how you feel about me, you never tell me, you don't show me, how am I just supposed to know?" Kailah said.

"Kailah, I care for you so I want you to be happy besides your looking for me to recite something from a movie, its not going to happen, you know who I am, you know what it is, if you have to question it then you should go back to what you know"

She wanted to yell "I WANT TO KNOW YOU, I WANT YOU" why couldn't he just see that.

Instead she said calmly "Look, I know who you are and I tried to accept that, I really did. You know I really like you, more than you know, I'm willing to take the risk with you and step out on the ledge, with you, if you can just look me in the eyes and tell me your willing to step out on the ledge too"

He paused looked at her and shook his head, instead of pulling her into his arms he looked away. "I really can't stay much longer, maybe we can discuss this another time." he said. He towered over her as he reached his arm out to hold up her chin, she was fighting back the tears, he kissed her on the cheek. "I'll call you later today" and he walked away. He never did call, she didn't hear from him again.....

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Introducing Magic...

What happens when lovers who are meant to be never become? Old timers love to say "You always loose the first one". The first one who makes your skin tingle with an ever so gently touch, the one who makes you smile with just the sight of their face or the one who wanted to be yours but denied their heart. Welcome to a world of betrayal, love, joy, and heartache. Where emotions change on a whim.

Where a man believes that he has met his true love but is forced to hold back his feelings because she has a boyfriend. Insecurity plagues his heart, concealing the emotions he wants to share with her, but always holding back, will the day ever come where he professes his love?

Her love, is it him, she really wants?

Torn between the unknown and the planned future, what really lies ahead?

Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me.

Now you may be curious to what this is all about. Tune in weekly for Magic, a love story that all of us can relate to regardless of age, gender, or race. Supposedly love has no boundaries, but for some it does and for those who cross those boundaries find themselves in a world of unchartered land.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Oodles of Noodles

It's Monday and I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Lately I've been dragging my ass in the morning. I have to get a boost of energy so I can get my mornings poppin :)

Anywho, this weekend I was thinking a lot about relationships, maturing and accomplishing things in life. Sometimes I think women put this silent pressure on themselves to achieve this and that, by this age or that year. I do it to myself all the time and sometimes get stressed over it. We have that whole, I have to be married by the time I'm 28 and have kids by 30, it goes on and on.

But why do I feel the need to live life based off a plan. I can't be programmed and so many great things in life happen unexpectedly. It would be excellent to have everything I think I should have at this moment but I guess I'll get them in due time because if I thought things happened when I wanted them to, I would be an effin millionaire by now..haha.

I'm proud of myself for not dwelling on things I have cause my life is pretty damn good. It didn't happen overnight, the thought that my life was great, but compared to how it could be I'm on a pretty decent road to success.